Pity Party for One

I thought I would be writing my next post to let you guys know that I got the last gig I auditioned for, well that's not the case.  I was a little bummed, i'm not gonna lie. When an actor hears these two magic words, SAG and National, the only thing you hear after that is Cha Ching!!! At this moment, I am hearing nuh thing! (sorry, I couldn't resist) I have no auditions scheduled and am not waiting for any call backs.  I was a bit discouraged Sunday and Monday.  Doubt began to set in again, I began to wonder if my acitng career is over, maybe I just got lucky?  A bit dramatic, just a little!  I'm usually pretty positive and optimistic but for some reason this just messes with my emotions, Big Time!!  I guess because it's something that I love doing, so automatically the weird way I think takes over and I start telling myself that I don't deserve this to happen to me.  I begin to tell myself, "it's too good to be true" and "it was fun while it lasted".  If you follow me on twitter now you know why Sprinkles was my best friend on Monday night.   

Anyway, as I was sitting there having my pity party with a lemon cupcake and a carrot cupcake, Pastor Pancho's voice popped into my head.  I began recalling the message I had just heard the day before.  "God answers our prayers all the time, he says yes, no or wait."  Duhh!! A message I had heard the day before but I was so consumed and focused on my "woe to me" party that I lost focus of God and his promises!  Then, I read Bianca's blog and I was checked again!  Prayer changes things, I need to be in constant prayer. Not for me to get what I want, but for the Lord to continue to do HIS will and to change MY heart.

I need to remember that HE is with me ALL the time, and that his timing is NOT my timing.  I don't know what HE has for me but after I got over it I realized that I can't give up. I need to look up and press forward.  I just need to put on some glitter and sparkly beads.