Blessings in Disguise!

I wanted to blog about the  Seven Deadly Sins class the very first night 6 weeks ago, but something inside told me to wait so that I could look back and see what has happened in the last 6 weeks and if I had made any progress.  A lot has happened professionally, personally and spiritually. It's funny because the first tuesday of the class I did come home and write about it, I was about to post it but I didn't.  I was just reading it and I realized that I had made progress.  Six weeks ago Bianca spoke about wrath & anger and I was like "okay this doesn't really apply".  I'm super passive, I do not like confrontation,  if I don't agree with what you're saying you'll probably never know it.  My hubby is super easy going so our home life is pretty chill.  Except for the fact that we have a crazy 11 year old and 2 crazy indoor dogs that weigh more than our Aliyah. 

Anway, back to my story.  So wrath and anger not an issue, then she said something along the lines of "everyone else's life was going in warp speed and I was like in quicksand". Niagra Falls!! The words that she was speaking were ripping my heart apart.  Weird, because I'm not very emotional(for those that know me, I know you're shocked). The funny thing is as she was explaining what she was going through 2 years ago with her sister, having feelings of jealousy and bitterness and wondering "we look alike why is she getting somewhere and i'm not", I was going through the same thing.  Here's the kicker.  As I sat through Bianca's Ruth class 2 years ago, I would come home feeling the exact same thing she was explaining.  Quick note, Bianca and I both graduated from Whittier College.  So I would sit there listening to her, thinking to my self "oh my gosh, I am such a loser".  I'd come home super depressed, and I would be like what the heck, i'm going to a Bible study to come out empowered and exposed so that I can become a better Christian and instead I felt like a total loser.  I would tell my husband, "How can two girls that went to the same college come out so different.  She is smart, articulate, she knows the pages of her Bible like I know the pages of the gossip magazines, and to top it off she's gorgeous and the girl can dress!  And me, I don't even remember going to college, I work at the family business doing whatever it is I do.  I cry almost every day on my way to work. I can't stick to a devotion routine even if my life depended on it.  It was bad!! Probably one of the darkest times for me as a christian.  

If you would have asked me two years ago why I was going through that, I would have said "i don't know".  Looking  back I could tell you why.  It was the Lord making me get on my knees and pray.  Pray for guidance, direction, purpose. I could see now that working for my family is actually a blessing.  Why? Because if I have an audition the next day at noon, I don't have to put in a request two weeks in advance.  I can see now that if it wasn't for that time I probably wouldn't have pursued acting again. There is no way that 2 years ago I would have been able to see this.  God was and is continuing to do an amazing work in my life and HE wants to do it in your life as well! We all have a purpose!! 

God is Good!!